important!: once you choose a neopet you can't get rid of it, and it's your responsibility: you have to care for it, feed it, and play with it. you have it for life.



  • Born in 1993 as Jacob Oet.
  • Ate avocado halves with the pits taken out and filled with honey. Made many castles out of cardboard in the cold basement.
  • Played a lot of Magic School Bus video games, RollerCoaster Tycoon, Age of Empires III, Myst, Neopets.
  • Played (and sung as) the rear half of a singing camel in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Flashed in the pan as an adolescent chess star (4th, 7th, 9th, 10th, and 11th grade Ohio champion).
  • Wrote breakup poetry in high school. Published six chapbooks. Served as poetry reader for Adroit Journal.
  • Studied at Swarthmore College and wrote With Porcupine, which won the 2015 Ruby Irene Chapbook Contest from Arcadia Press. 
  • Created viral content and managed Facebook pages for NASA and Simon & Schuster.
  • Went to the Creative Writing MFA at Syracuse University, where they were awarded the Shirley Jackson Prize for Fiction, and adopted a cat (Skipper). 
  • Published No Mark Spiral (CutBank Books, 2018), and started serving as the Poetry Editor of Salt Hill and a reader for Frontier Poetry.